Florida Man

Saint Petersburg, Florida. October 22nd 2019.  Florida Man was arrested in a Target after being caught having sex with a stuffed animal of Disneys Frozen character ‘Olaf’.

Cody Meader, 20 took one of the huge stuffed animal Olafs from the rack and started to “dry hump” the stuffed animal.

According to police Meader ejaculated on the stuffed Olaf then proceeded to put it back on the shelf.  Then he grabbed a huge unicorn stuffed animal and started to have sex with that one as well.

Meader was arrested and taken into custody before he left the store.  He admitted to “doing stuff” to the stuffed animals.

The two unfortunate stuffed animals of Olaf and the Unicorn were removed from the store and destroyed.

Florida Woman’s dog got into a camel pen at a Louisiana truck stop petting zoo, she entered the pen when the camel decided to sit on her.  The only way she was able to escape was by biting it’s testicles.

Authorities at the Iberville Parish Sheriff’s Office told reporters that the woman and her husband had stopped at the Tiger Truck Stop in Grosse Tete.  The couple were tossing treats to their dog when the dog then ventured into the enclosure.  

The dog wouldn’t leave so they were forced to enter the enclosure to try and retrieve the dog.  Ignoring all of the warning signs they entered the cage, once inside the camel was curious and kept bumping them so in defense the couple tried shoving the animal away and swatting it with a hat.

This resulted in the camel named Casper to sit ontop of the wife.  She was sat on by a 600 lb camel and tried everything to escape, only once she resorted to biting the camels testicles did the camel get up and she was able to free her self.

According to the Iberville Parish Deputy;
“The camel has never been aggressive, the camel has never gotten out, never caused any issues – in fact, the husband and wife stated before that we’ve been here before and we’ve never had any problems,” 

The couple, whose names were not released ended up being fined for a leash violation from not having their dog on one.

We are all sure they will never forget this “nutty” experience!

A Florida Man was arrested on DUI charges, which is not anything completely out of the ordinary.  Except when you add that this Florida Man was driving a riding lawn mower when it happened, and that he was caught AFTER he crashed his lawn mower into a Haines City police vehicle.

Haines City officer was inside a local business when he heard a crash outside.  Upon walking outside to investigate found Anderson sitting on his riding lawn mower with a trailer attached. In the trailer was a cooler allegedly full of beer.

Anderson admitted to having struck the police vehicle while riding his lawn mower.  The police officer then gave Anderson a field sobriety test, which was failed in Florida Man fashion.

While at the police station, Mr Anderson alleged he was poisoned by police and demanded he was to be brought to the hospital.  Doctors found Anderson’s blood alcohol content to be .241, which is more than THREE TIMES the legal limit.  True Florida Man Style.

To further Anderson’s Florida Man style cocaine was also found in his blood, but he said police put the cocaine in his blood so it wasn’t his cocaine.

Police said that Anderson’s driver’s license has been suspended since 1978 and he has two prior DUI convictions. 

Okaloosa Island, Florida.  – Woman arrested after shoplifting topless. She fled the scene of the crime on her bike, police were able to catch 32 year old Courtney Elizabeth Backes in the middle of the road not far from the store she allegedly stole from.

When deputies told her to stop, she screamed “Make Me”. Which of course the officers did.

Backes was alleged to have left Surfside Outfitters with a pair of flip-flops and other items without paying.  She was charged with retail theft and resisting arrest without violence.

During an argument Kimberly Jean Carroll, 55 and her boyfriend were having dinner.  She did no like the way he was slicing his fixings, so she punched him in the face and spit at him after he did not take her suggestions on how it should be done instead.

Still unknown is exactly how he was cutting his meat and potatoes to have this Florida Woman so infuriated. 

The boyfriend declined medical treatment, Carroll however was booked on misdemeanor domestic battery charge.

Florida Man Keith Mounts, 46 was arrested on assault charges after he took out a machete and pointed it at another man who had not flushed after using the toilet.

Mounts told the unnamed victim that he will chop him with the machete.  Other man called the cops fearing for his life.  

Mounts claimed self-defense but did not explain what he was defending himself against.

Arreseted individual Mounts written statement included “sh__ happens.”

Lonnie Maddox, 52 was arrested for having broken into a Pasco County Home.  After being arrested he said his horse was actually the one that committed the crime.

Lonnie claimed to the home owner, “My horse broke into your house, mister, and I had to go in and get her.”

Maddox told deputies the horse ended up into the yard of the burgalized home through a broken fence, but he did go inside the home as he was interested in renting and wanted to see inside.

Survellance video however shows Maddox and his horse circling the house, then he tried to get through the front door, eventually giving up to then break a window to get inside.

Maddox didn’t even own the horse that was at the scene, and that horse was later found two miles away.

Eventually the horse named Angel was returned to its owners while Maddox was charged with burglary of a dwelling.

Florida Man and Florida Woman in Fernandiana Beach, FL were arrested on suspicion of cycling under the influence on Friday the 13th 2019.

The Florida couple were nearly struck by a car they cut off while crossing South Fletcher Ave.  Smelling of alchol the deputy placed both under arrest.

Once in the back of the patrol car the Florida couple had taken their clothes off and started to have sex in back seat of the police car.

When deputies opened the door to intervene, the now naked Florida man knocked a deputy  down then took off running stark naked down the street.

He was captured in short order at a nearby Cold Stone Creamery.

The Florida Woman, 35 year old Megan Lynn Mondanaro became violent when the deputies tried to move her to a seperate patrol car. Once at the hospital she took a breathalyzer test three hours after being arrested and still blew a .06.

The Florida Man, 31 year old Aaron Seth Thomas blood alcohol content was .145, which is almost two times th legal limit in Florida.

The Florida couple were booked into the Nassau County Jail on charges of resisting with violence, unnatrual and lascivious act, exposure of sexual organs, and driving under the influence.

Florida Man apparently found his perfect Florida Woman.

Florida Man was shopping at a supermarket when his gun accidentally discharged which resulted in him shooting himself.

The bullet hit the Florida Man in the leg. And there was no active threat to anyone else.

No further information was released by the sheriffs office.

Florida Man learned the hard way.  Pretending to be a cop and pulling people over is no way to pass time.

In Hillsborough County, Florida Matthew Joseph Erris turned on red and blue flashing lights on his SUV and pulled over a car.  That car ended up being driven by an undercover detective in a unmarked police vehicle.

Once the detective was pulled over by the impersonator he called 911 and actual deputies showed up to take Erris ino custody.  Erris was arrested and charged with impersonating a police officer.

Police searched Erris’s SUV and found a law enforcement light bar installed in the vehicle, along with a realistic looking airsoft pistol.

Erris was arrested and charged, and was then released on bond.  Police officers and detectives are now trying to determine if he had pulled anyone else over previously that were non-cops.

November 18th 2019, A Florida Man thought he could outsmart the cops by stashing his stash of drugs deep inside of his belly button.

Martin Skelly, 41 was arrested after he was seen at a Clearwater Florida McDonald’s with a loaded needle.

After Skelly was arrested he was transported to jail where he was subject to a full body search.

He had told officers that there was no more contraband on him, but a jail deputy found a baggie filled with methamphetamine which was lodged deep inside of his belly button.

Skelly reportedly weights 380 lbs so apparently has quite a hiding cavity created by his belly button.

After the meth was found he was charged with two more felony charges.